How to say I want to back...!

I
I promised myself that when it was over,
i'd laugh at the memories.
but here i am without a smile in sight.
I promised myself that i would call you,
just to see if you were okay.
but here i am and i can't even dial your
number.
I promised myself that when it was over,
i wouldn't shed a tear.
but here i am, shirt almost soaked.
I promised myself i would let you go
gracefully.
but here i am, hating myself for letting you
leave.
I promised myself that when it was over,
i wouldn't look back.
but here i am unable to walk forward.
I promised myself i would say goodbye.
but here i am, still saying i ℒℴѵℯ
you.. #